We all have them. Don’t deny it. Here is the first ever! Chapstick Weekly Self-Help Solo Dance Party Tips and Tricks Recommendations and Techniques List!

1. Always dance with your eyes open.
What is closing your eyes going to do? You might run into something besides. It is good practice to have your eyes open, in case you decide to muster up the courage to dance in front of other people. You don’t want it to look like you’re on drugs, or that you are picturing making out with yourself.

2. Make a serious face. Really serious.
This makes you look more serious.

3. Try to wear what you would ordinarily wear.
It is a romantic thought that you would dance around in your underwear, or bare foot, or in a snow suit, but really. Stripping by yourself is silly, a stubbed toe is dangerous, and you’ll quickly overheat in a snowsuit.

4. Take risks that might get you caught dancing by yourself.
Like leaving the door unlocked after you have invited guests over. I have tried this a lot, and no one has ever really thought it was weird for me to be dancing by myself.

5. Try dancing to a Chapstick Weekly Mix.
That’s why they are there, dummy! The songs may inspire you to move in an unexpected way.

6. Don’t move your arms so much.
Everyone remembers the Elaine. Even more so, arm movements generally are a lazy way of dancing. Once you eliminate the arms, moving everything else becomes much more important. Then you can really get down to business.

7. Name your dance moves.
If you feel like you look like some sort of exotic animal, the name will probably be appropriate. Other name suggestions include: out-of-date appliance brand names, city street names, former vice presidents, and backyard game items.

8. One thing to Note:
Once you are a stage performer, I encourage you to break all these rules. Where would we be if frontmen didn’t dance in snowsuits, smiling, eyes closed, with their arms outstretched like they are a four-year-old make believing they are an airplane?

In summary, a wise man once told me, “If it feels good, do it.” And that’s all she wrote! For your dancing!