Here is a dirty confession: I downloaded Sammy Hagar from iTunes. I am consistently listening to it daily. There is something decadent to thinking about large breasts and head banging to my soul’s content.

There is a picture of Sammy in a boxing ring, red, oversized codpiece included, on the iTunes artwork. Is Sammy Hagar a sexy bastard? I’m assuming that its undeniably so. He is the current embodiment of the less extreme, more acceptable type of debauchery that people have come to accept as “Heavy Metal.”

Also on the soundtrack was music from Devo, and those bad-asses, The Blue Oyster Cult. We all know these guys know how to rock! Right? Can I get the pinky and first finger symbol and some head nodding?

Probably not until you are desperate enough to get yourself stoned off of cat urine (see Southpark episode “Major Boobage”) would you really think you could rock out to Devo. Even so, the super-straight, super-conservative heavy metal-ers out there would never get close to a cat’s genetalia. This is ironic, in the whole irony sense of the word.

The genre dilution that happened with Heavy Metal is embodied by this soundtrack. Commercial Capitalism at its finest! Thank you Southpark for introducing me!